Today, I want to talk about something which came up in one of my coaching sessions with my own coach yesterday.
Basically, I’ve had plans to start this big project and I’ve literally been resisting it for months.
Maybe you’ve been seeing me post, like, “There’s this BIG THING coming!” … and then it just hasn’t felt right so I’ve not launched it.
There were some legitimate reasons not to do it… but then, the pattern kept repeating.
THEN THE REALISATION HIT ME…
I realised that it was actually just resistance. The problem was something in my head, not something circumstantial.
I am pretty sure that this is going to be coming up from a lot of you as well. If it’s not right now, maybe it just happened in the past… or maybe it’s going to be happening in the future… I think it’s really relevant to talk about not allowing your circumstances to dictate what you do.
While there’s always a case for feminine flow, if you do not feel like doing something, it’s probably the real thing you need to do!
Saying that, I don’t want you to push through all the time and have your business become a struggle – because that is not a nice energy. I have been there for a year – basically just trying to move forward and not being able to. It is not fun!
WHAT’S STOPPING YOU FROM MOVING FORWARD
But I’m trying to look at what are the stories which are stopping me from wanting to move forward.
So in my case, yesterday, (and this was super subconscious – I had no idea this was happening), suddenly all this stuff came up, like, “People are not going to want to buy it… They are not going to put in the effort…”
And it was just when I was saying it to my coach, I was just like, “What? Really? These are the words coming out of my mouth? But I do not actually think they are true.” But that was what was subconsciously happening to me.
So always go back to your mind. What are you telling yourself? There’s probably a crazy story and it is going to be so illogical and so stupid. When you hear it, you’ll know there are so many logical reasons why this is not actually true, but it’s still holding you back.
Once you realise it, then you can start to shift it.
Within that paradigm of “No one is going to buy“, it is completely logical not to want to launch anything because no one is going to buy it anyway! Of course, you are not going to do the work if that’s the case!
You shift that by asking, “Well, what is the evidence for that?”
In the past, in your own experience, has anyone ever bought anything from you? In my experience, obviously, yes.
But it does not even have to be just your own experience. In the past, has anybody ever bought a similar type of thing? Let’s say you want to create a t-shirt – has anyone ever bought t-shirts before? Well, yes! So obviously, there is a market.
Just look at the actual evidence. Is this story true, or is it just fear? Normally, it is just nonsense.
Then you can start to work out where this story has come from. What is actually creating this fear, this worry within you? Is there some kind of past experience that has happened?
Maybe you are worried that people are not going to follow through on payment plans because you are trying to implement a payment plan and maybe people have you defaulted before. Then that’s valid! But you don’t have to let that experience define your future.
THERE’S ALWAYS A SOLUTION TO EVERYTHING
Create a process to stop your fear from happening in real life. For the payment plan example, maybe you can have automated reminder emails, or maybe you have to set up an account with a debt collection service.
Step out of the emotion of the fear and think, what is actually the solution to this problem? If by solving this problem, you can make more money, have more happiness, have more time off (whatever your goal is), then it is going to be worth it to move past your story and out of resistance.
You just need to implement the process to prevent the circumstances you fear. This can be applied to almost anything and almost any fear.
Let’s say, you are procrastinating on doing anything for your business because you are worried that if things don’t align, your business is going to fail. Well, it has already failed if you are not doing anything!
WHAT IS THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN
Let’s guess at a 50-50 chance of winning or losing in business (and that’s a pretty low estimate!) Even those odds are better than a definite chance of it failing by never starting the business in the first place.
Another example is visibility. If you are procrastinating on getting work done in your business, because you are scared of visibility, thinking what is going to happen to you. This visibility problem is so powerful and it is so strong.
I really get it. I have it, too, sometimes. But it is just a story in our heads. That is the crazy thing – it is just a story in our heads! So how can you move yourself, get past that?
What actually is going to happen to you if you get visible? Maybe somebody is going to write something mean on Facebook… I think you can deal with it! Nobody is going to be banging down your door, you are not going to be physically threatened.
To move past resistance, just have a conversation with yourself. It is basically self-talk. It is not motivation. It is not like pumping yourself, “Woohoo, I can do this!” It is like, “Really, what is actually going to happen? What is the worst thing that could possibly happen?”
If you quit your job right now and your business has not taken off, what is the worst thing that could happen? Well, you are not going to be under a bridge – I’m sure you have friends or family who could take care of you for a month. And I am sure you can get another job in like, two weeks. I am sure you can get a coach and find how to run your business properly and so it would not fail…
There are a hundred different solutions to any problem, so I always ask myself, “What is the worst thing that could actually happen?”
So, me ending up under a bridge is not going to happen. That is the fear but it’s not actually ever going to come true. There is always going to be so many stages and so many opportunities before I get to that stage.
But that was my fear when I was in my job – “I am going to lose everything. I am never going to get a job again. I am never going to earn money again. How will I ever replace my salary?”
I had a really good job. I was in finance. I was not earning tons and tons, but I was earning more than some of my friends in other industries. And I was thinking, “I am in the best position possible, how can I ever get out of it?”
And it is nonsense.
I replaced my salary within eight months of starting by properly utilizing the strategy my coach was showing me in my new business. And I have gone on to make, sometimes ten times of my previous monthly salary if I am launching something. The money thing is not an issue. Even if you are a CEO, you are going to be able to replace your salary. So don’t worry about it!
YOU NEED TO START TAKING ACTION
Do not allow yourself to get paralysed by these stories. What If you spent a good three or four-hour chunk of time on your business this weekend. What could you actually move forward? What could you actually do?
It could be work on your website. It could be making new sales, like writing emails, doing Facebook lives. It could be getting the payment processor sorted, it is super boring but you are not going to get paid unless that happens!
WORK ON YOUR OWN SCHEDULE
So what are the next logical steps to you need to work on in your business? I want you to schedule in time and do it. Literally schedule time in your calendar, between brunch with your friends, on Saturday, and date night on Sunday. Schedule your work time like a plan to meet friends.
I am not saying to disappear from all your social gatherings. Schedule in time like, “12 to 4 on Saturday I am doing this…” and make it happen.
And that is how you move your business forward.
It’s something I have been struggling with for quite a while because there have been so many distractions in my own life. I haven’t felt like doing the big project because I did not want to overwhelm myself. We have had health issues, we have had family stuff that we have to deal with. And we are moving every day, it feels like. (The perils of being a nomad!)
Just actually sitting down and thinking about what needs to get done, putting it on the calendar – and it’s planned for the next month. Every single day, I know what I need to do and if I finish early, awesome.
But I need to get it done.
Do the same thing for yourself. That is how to make your business move forward – when you take the action and when you make it happen. So, go for it, do something this weekend. Put your business forward.
What are your commitments to your business today? Once you set that public commitment, you’re more likely to follow through as well. Leave a comment and let me know.
YOUR NEXT STEP
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